The Year of the Affair

I turn 40 in a couple of weeks.  I’ve decided my forties are going to be the best years of my life.  Why?  Because I’m going to make sure that they are!  In the last three years I’ve gone through a separation, divorce, gone back to school, become a single parent, and waded into the waters of dating in my late thirties after having been married for 18 years.  I'm ready for a new chapter in my Book of Life.  Some of last year's chapter headings could have included:

Did I Really Have to Be So Stupid?

You  Did What?

Hell Hath No Fury.......

Can I Fast Forward Through This Part?

No Really, I Dare You To Do That Again

He Was How Young?

Next year's chapter heading might read:

You Go Girl!
You Did What?  Awesome!
Can I Slow This Part Down and Enjoy It A Little Bit Longer?
The Amazing Accomplishments. No, Really.
Can You Do That Again?

I have been blessed with opportunities to grow even though I have railed against them at times. I’ve had to learn to be selfless when I felt I had the right to be selfish.  I have learned that the roads I often wanted to take were not the right roads for me to be traveling on and I that I needed to be kind to myself when I got lost along the way. 

I have learned that I can only be responsible for myself in a relationship and that I can lose myself in someone without giving myself away.  

I have decided that turning 40 is the year I will have a love affair……with myself.  I’m the perfect choice!  I know my likes and dislikes; I know my favorite jewelry store and always pick out the perfect gift for myself! I always get to pick which movie I want to go see and which restaurant to eat at. I always get to pick which side of the bed I want to sleep on and I get to hog the covers every night. I can wake up with my eyebrows looking absolutely ridiculous with no one else to laugh at them.

Yeah, I know.  I’d take silly presents, see dumb movies now and then, and be glad my covers were getting stolen at night if I had that choice in my life right now. I do however have the choice to create the kind of life I want to live and be as happy as I am able under the circumstances.

So what kind of advice can I give to my soon to be forty year-old self?

Remember how blessed you are and have a thankful heart every day.

Get out there and have some fun!

Don’t be afraid to love again and don’t be afraid to wait for the guy who recognizes your true worth and thinks you hang the moon.  You have a lot of years ahead of you, don’t settle for mediocre happiness.  

Remember it’s not a sin to enjoy a decadent piece of chocolate but that it’s a sin not to.

Write your own story. Make sure it's filled with accomplishments,  happiness, dreams, and lots of .......well shoot, my kids might read this blog. Anyway.......

"No one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten." ~ Natasha Bedingfield