Saturday, October 2, 2010

Junk In My Trunk

So who's got a little extra junk in their trunk?

I know, I know. You thought you were going to get a blog about my posterior region.  As much as I'd like to wax poetic or philosophical about my bootie, I will do my best to contain myself. So sorry to disappoint.

I have junk in my other trunk!  Let's get one thing straight. I was mislead when I purchased my vehicle. There was no sticker on it that informed me about the problem I am now facing with it. The salesman assured me I had received an excellent deal (that should have been my first red flag) and he was smiling and waving at me as I drove out of the parking lot.  If I could have read his thoughts at the time it probably would have sounded something like this. "So long, sucker."

There should have been a disclaimer in the agreement when I purchased the car that said, "Anything left in the car overnight, will thereby multiply itself or reinvent itself into another object which will then spawn other objects.  Some of these objects will be recognizable and others will look as if someone broke into your car while you were sleeping and dumped their assorted unwanted objects and lame wedding reception gifts into your car."

Here is my own DISCLAIMER:  if you are one of those people who always have a spotless car then continue reading with caution. The following material may bring on nauseousness, heart palpitations and cause you to break out in hives.

Believe it or not, I thoroughly cleaned and vacuumed out my car two weeks ago. However, I inadvertently left an item in the care overnight last week and that was the beginning of the end.

List of items in my car taken out today: three lip glosses, two chap sticks, one box of Costco size Top Ramen, a hair straightener, three pairs of shoes, one shoe who had lost it's mate (haha that one must be mine), three sets of wood letters that say "BOO" which I made at Relief Society, three empty water bottles, a case of tomato paste and a package of wagon wheel pasta. Two school books, one spiral notebook, one jacket, one life jacket (I must have been keeping it handy in case I eventually drowned in all that stuff), and five ponytail bands.  One paperback novel, a bottle of saline solution and an overdue library book.

Maybe I need to buy one of those environmentally friendly "clown cars."  It would make sense that the smaller my vehicle is the less amount of copious reproducing my car would do overnight.  I haven't heard of any sure-fire method of safe sex for cars so I will just have to make sure that it is cleaned out thoroughly every night.


  1. You do remember how many clowns came out of that clown car at the circus, right?

    And seriously, "safe sex for cars" has to be the best line I've heard in years!

  2. AAAAHHHH!!!!!! You're right!!! That is hilarious about the clown car. I just better get on the ball and keep my car clean!

  3. Gotta be honest....that didn't sound so bad!! I must have at least three times that in my van....

  4. LOL....I was expecting to see was a "light" cleaning today.