The Suitcase

Throughout our lives we all pick up baggage at one point or another. It’s inevitable. We take our experiences with us, sometimes they even influence who we become and how we act and how we see the world and ourselves. Some of us don’t even know we are carrying baggage. Or some may see it and try to act like it’s not there. Some people don’t know what to do with it and so they do nothing and it becomes their constant companion. Others try to drop it off somewhere along the way but get either get sidetracked or find that they have grown comfortable with it and choose to keep it with them…they have gotten so used to carrying their luggage around that for better or for worse they can’t imagine life without it. They have become attached to it even if it is heavy and burdensome.

I have been unpacking my suitcase for the last couple of years. Every so often I would reach in and find something I no longer needed and toss it off to the side. I threw away pain, anger, sadness over a lost marriage, bitterness, disappointment. All of it served a purpose for a time for there is a cycle to grief but I knew those things were not something that I wanted to be part of my life. I found my suitcase getting lighter over time and it felt so good I would want to get rid of more items…..sometimes I was tossing things right and left and at other times certain things were harder to get rid of. But I kept working at it, kept unpacking and before I knew it, time had gone by and I could see the bottom of my suitcase and then I thought it was empty.

Junk In My Trunk

So who's got a little extra junk in their trunk?

I know, I know. You thought you were going to get a blog about my posterior region.  As much as I'd like to wax poetic or philosophical about my bootie, I will do my best to contain myself. So sorry to disappoint.

I have junk in my other trunk!  Let's get one thing straight. I was mislead when I purchased my vehicle. There was no sticker on it that informed me about the problem I am now facing with it. The salesman assured me I had received an excellent deal (that should have been my first red flag) and he was smiling and waving at me as I drove out of the parking lot.  If I could have read his thoughts at the time it probably would have sounded something like this. "So long, sucker."

There should have been a disclaimer in the agreement when I purchased the car that said, "Anything left in the car overnight, will thereby multiply itself or reinvent itself into another object which will then spawn other objects.  Some of these objects will be recognizable and others will look as if someone broke into your car while you were sleeping and dumped their assorted unwanted objects and lame wedding reception gifts into your car."

Here is my own DISCLAIMER:  if you are one of those people who always have a spotless car then continue reading with caution. The following material may bring on nauseousness, heart palpitations and cause you to break out in hives.

The Wall Chronicles

So let’s talk walls. Have you really ever thought about how many different kinds of walls there are? No? Then it’s your lucky day! The next time you’re out having dinner with friends and someone starts talking about walls, as they usually do in dinner conversations, then you can share all of the vast knowledge you will be gaining from this post. Trust me. Nothing says “I’m an intelligent, well rounded person,” more so than talking about walls. In my next couple of posts I will be talking about walls.

So, what does a wall do? Well, it creates a boundary or a barrier. Walls keep things in but they also keep things out. They make us feel safe, or protected. Sometimes they do just that and sometimes that safety is an illusion. Sometimes we “hit walls.” Sometimes we’re thrown against walls. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to climb over it to the other side. Sometimes we smarten up, find a ladder, and climb over that wall to the other side. 

Walls serve a purpose sometimes. When our heart has taken too many beatings we will start building a wall around it. Someone said something unkind that hurt you. Hey, here’s a brick. Someone you love made a choice that brought you pain. Have some mortar to lay that brick with. You dared to let yourself dream that you could be happy and have the life you desire. Wait, hold steady while I hand you a few more bricks. You lost someone close to you and can’t go through that kind of pain again. And so the building of the wall begins.