So I got myself a bike...finally! It's a cute, retro, beach cruising kind of bike. I even got a wicker basket to make it look "official." Last night I went for a bike ride with my girls. Fifteen minutes with one, and fifteen minutes with the other. It was an absolute joy. Why, I wondered, did I not do this years ago? And since I try not to live by hindsight I just gave myself a swift kick in the butt and told myself there is a lesson to be learned from this.
I learned that my girls actually talk to me on bike rides! Breeze blowing through our hair, mosquitos biting our butts through our clothes, making sure we close our mouths when we hit a bug swarm, no t.v., no computer, no i-pods. Just.....us.
I was divorced two years ago when my kids were 15, 13, and 9. In some ways....well many actually....I feel cheated with the time and attention it took away from my kids as I tried to find my footing as a single parent, learning to be alone (which you never get used to) and went back to college after 18 years away. My oldest is off to college this year. She has learned to be independent, is a hard working student, and a wonderful girl all around. I look back at the last couple of years and the reality is that as a single mother I'm not always the parent I imagined myself being and am sad as she's leaving that we didn't have enough times like this.
In the meantime, I take these pockets of joy when they come, recognize them for what they are, and hold them close to my heart.
I love your comments. They help me remember to find the good stuff as it comes along instead of just waiting for the awesome stuff that comes once in a while. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenn. I think that goes both ways :)
ReplyDeleteHolding out for a wondrous moment is kind of like waiting for a silver quarter... when I was a kid they were everywhere and we spent them because they were money.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I laid one in my hand and thought about the 11 years since the last one crossed my palm, and I don't think I'd trade any of the common moments, or quarters, for the sound of silver.
So yeah, you're right about the little things.
Vernie