Learning to Transition

I'll admit it. While I have a healthy sense of adventure, I also have my comfort zones. When you're thrown out of the zone and into a different playing field it's not always a comfortable feeling. Despite the changes in my life over the last few years I think I have done better than I thought I could. I have discovered I am a very resilient person. Some days I'd like to stay knocked off my feet so I don't have to get up and try again, but I get bored down there on the ground and I don't like being stepped on.

It's easier to handle transitions when they come in waves and ebb and flow. This gives you time to walk along the shore of your life and adjust to the changes as they swirl and wash over your feet. It's another thing to try to handle them when you're still dealing with one wave and another comes in, and then another, and before you know it you're caught up in the tide, wondering when it got so deep. This is the hard part. This is the part of life called "Sink or Swim."

One of my girls posted a comment on her fb page today before she left to go back to her dad's for the rest of the month.....it said, "going home today. It's weird, that I consider Uintah home. Hm." I will admit that at first glance I felt a little pang when I read that. I wanted to say, "This is home. Here. With me. Where I am." When that feeling passed and I was able to look at the big picture this is what I commented......" If you have two places that feel like home and you are loved and cared for in both then it is good. I love you and will miss you at this home." In truth, how could I want her to feel any differently?

I always said from the onset of my divorce that when it came to my kids that it wasn't their job to take care of my feelings. That is my job. I haven't always done the best I wanted to in that regard, but I do try. My greatest effort has gone into trying to make sure their lives have been stable and happy. They were and still are my biggest concern. It appears as if my children are learning to transition as well. My oldest is transitioning out of the home on her way to college. My second is making a comfortable transition between her two "homes." My sweet boy is transitioning from a boy into a young man soon and I hope and pray he continues to do well and is happy.

I have transitioned from a wife and homemaker into a full time college student and single mother. Friendships and relationships have come and while some have stayed, others are now gone. I have had to learn to transition in my faith as this new life feels so foreign to me sometimes. I'm still working on that one. I love this quote by Victor Frankl. "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Arrghh......I pout over that a bit but it is true.

I am trying to not look at these situations as losses but as changes.....transitions. Something that moves me from one place to the next. The trick is how to try to see them as positive transitions. I think I will be learning the same trick day in and day out for some time to come. Sometimes I'm a slow learner.