On Days You Can't Make Lemonade

Some days you can't make lemonade. Or some weeks. There are times you are feeling less than your best self.

I told myself that while my kids are at their dad's most of the summer that maybe it would be good for me. I came up with some pretty convincing reasons.....positive thinking and all that, you know. The reality is that it has been hard at times. My oldest is going to college next month, and with my two youngest gone right now I have looked around me in the empty house and said, "What has happened to my family? This isn't what it was supposed to look like. No one is here to make home made ice cream and play games and watch movies with me. I'm not planning picnics and taking kids to the pool. No one is ever in one place at the same time anymore."

I've had to make a new normal for myself but I don't know that it will ever feel "normal." After a few years I've gotten used to life post-divorce, but many of the things that come with it will never feel right. We just do the best we can.

This week I wondered if I walked under a ladder, or didn't see the black cat run in front of me or maybe I was the Murphy Law candidate of the week! Sometimes you are just tired, sick with a cough that keeps you up half the night (yes, that was me this entire week), trying to get signed up for fall classes and having complications, find out you have to get hearing aids at age 39, and missing kids. Sometimes all of these things put you in emotional upheaval and you wish you could have do-overs in conversations, in actions, and circumstances in general. Right now, I am reminding myself to be kind.......to myself. Sometimes we fall short, even in the best of circumstances and it's still going to be okay.

So as I cough myself to sleep I will remind myself of my blessings. They are my three children who grew under my heart. They are my friends who keep me going and make me laugh. It is the roof over my head and the air conditioning running while I sleep. It is family. It is.....L O V E

As for the lemonade? It's in the fridge. On days you can't make it, you buy it.